Thank you so much for your Happy Birthday wishes, I had a very special day with my little family and close friends. I have been meaning to reply to your lovely comments – and will do! Times have been hectic lately, and I’ve had quite a few emails from people asking why I’d left it so long between blog posts. I’m now ready to answer that question, it’s been something I’ve been avoiding talking about because it’s just been too painful.
Today would mark my wonderful father-in-law’s 69th birthday. He died very suddenly just three short months ago, and it turned our world upside down. My FIL was my mentor, my confidante, my cherished friend, but above all he was my “dad”. Honestly, you couldn’t wish for a more perfect father, if there is any such thing as perfect… then he would be the image of it in the dictionary.
My mother-in-law is a very ill lady and dad took care of her. He was amazing. They rented a property not far from where we live, but mum wasn’t well enough to go back home after we learned at the hospital that dad had passed away. It was such a shock to be receiving funny emails from dad on the Saturday night, and then the very next day to be called urgently to a hospital where we were told that he’d died. There wasn’t any sign that anything was wrong. Mum was admitted to hospital straight away because we couldn’t physically take care of her needs, and after a week she was transferred to a nursing home close-by as a temporary measure until we could find her a permanent bed. Just yesterday we had some really great news that a vacancy came up in the nursing home just up the hill from us – so she will literally be living on the same street just less than a two-minute walk away! That’s the best news we’ve had in a long time.
The past three months have been both emotionally and physically draining. Mr SUDs is an only child so we’ve had a lot to do in terms of organising a lovely service for dad, clearing out and cleaning the rental unit he and mum once lived in, and tying up lots of loose ends. Plus, running a family and visiting Mum… I guess it’s been good to keep busy but there always comes a time when life slows down a bit again and I think that’s when it hits home the worst.
I’ve written two blog posts about how much dad means to me… but I just couldn’t publish them. It’s too personal and too raw. Plus I know that dad always liked to make people happy, and I certainly don’t want to taint that memory of him in any way by writing things that are sad. It was always the small things that made dad happy, he was so gracious. With his gorgeous Scottish accent! I wrote up an itinerary for him a few years ago when he took master SUDs over to England on the plane. He then went on to visit his relatives in Scotland who he hadn’t seen for 45 years – in a place called Stanish-Mure. Well, that’s how I wrote it on the itinerary because that’s how dad pronounced it! He thought it was hilarious.. as he hailed from Stenhousemuir. I’m so glad that dad got to have that trip and visit all the places he had wonderful memories of as a child. He certainly gave his own son lots of happy childhood memories – always involved and engaged with Scott – just as he was later on in life with his grandchildren. I always felt that our love was unconditional, that’s why it feels so right to call him Dad… because our relationship was built on love and trust… unconditional. I wrote this blog post a couple of years ago, and its essence perfectly conveys the love I feel for him.
Once we’ve moved mum in to her new home and things have settled down a bit, I look forward to catching up with my friends again – I’ll come visiting to see what you’ve been up to – does that give you enough time to get the coffee beans roasting for my next brew?!
I’ll close by wishing my wonderful dad a very happy birthday in heaven… (I’m going to get a wee tipple and toast to you, Dad!)
With love,
Vikki xo
